Well, I am 5 days into Lent. I had set some pretty awesome goals I thought. I was ready and prepared to “lay it all down.” Then, I woke up. It was 7:30 am Wednesday, I woke up to my usual routine. Grab a cup of coffee, sit down at my desk and read my devotional, pray, set my intentions for the day and BAM! It came out of no where, “same routine, wait, isn’t it the first day of Lent?” Didn’t I plan to give up sugar, Tylenol PM, and not spend any $$ at all for 40 days. Oh yeah, suddenly it all came flooding back to me. Now, you as the reader may not be understanding what I am saying right now. I will explain. I have spent the last two months preparing my mind and body for Lent. I felt called by the Lord to do these things as my way of honoring Him and obeying Him. I wrote lists, prayers and got very intentional about doing the things the Lord put on my heart.
What happened was I woke that morning with my same routine. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but God had called me to a higher level of my faith and that meant self discipline and obedience. I remembered by lunch time my promises to God and began to pray and seek Him. I felt better. Then, off to the grocery store I went. What did I do without even thinking? I bought pens and a calendar and some office supplies. After I walked out of the store I wanted to punch myself because I said I was not going to spend any money on myself. Not a hard task you would think. YES, it was. Which brings me to today. Over the past four days I have slipped on everything that I wanted to give up. I know God is not going to throw down the hammer and beat me. We have free will. I am disappointed in me. The devil is cunning and will tempt us in every way when we set out to fulfill our promises to God. I asked myself this question, ” Am I really sacrificing anything?” Or did I create a list that sounded really good to me and kept me in my comfort zone? I am still praying about this. The stuff I wanted to let go of during Lent is good but, am I sacrificing? Jesus went into the wilderness for 40 days with no food and was tempted by the devil. He stood strong to honor His father. He laid it all down for us. I ask again, “Am I sacrificing anything at all?”
Today, I am starting all over. I am human, I know I am not perfect. I will make mistakes and I learn from them. My teacher (Jesus) was perfect and I look to Him to help me. That is what God told me to do during this time. He literally said, “Amy, learn from my Son. Study His ways and His teaching.” It was from this conversation that I received from the Lord what to do during Lent. I suppose God already knew I was going to mess up. I am not giving up! He will give me strength when I am tempted. I just need to pray scripture and study it more.
I realized why I encountered failure so quickly this year. It is because when people try to make changes I mean real life lasting changes if your enviroment or habitual nature of doing things is not changed then you will not succeed. People can be robots, once we develop habits and we enjoy those habits we are mindlessly programmed to continue day after day after day. When a desire to build a new habit or change happens it requires diligent determination day after day. What I am doing for Lent is requiring me to alter my daily habits and routine quite a bit. I must be intentional everyday to do what I said I would do to honor my God. It is my desire to do these things and I really want to. Thank goodness today is a new day the slate is clean and I am going to give it a go. In order to be successful for the remaining days of Lent I have to reorder my routine a lot.
This is what I gave up-
SUGAR— nightly ice cream
Tylenol PM–actually I have been doing this!
spending money on myself that means everything!
simply my life–meaning God told me to get rid of stuff, clothes,shoes,pots and pans, junk etc. I am tackling one thing at a time.
tithe faithfully–I have it ready to be mailed!
save money–I am working on this
do not eat meat and only eat “whole foods”— I think I have been doing well, I have not had any meat!
exercise–Yes I have but, I have noticed it has been a real struggle for me on my runs.
Pray for my husband, children, our family miracle and breakthrough.
Pray for where the Lord wants us to go from here.
Pray for others.
Serve and bless people--I am praying and asking the Lord to show me who I can serve. Actually I did last week and it was fun!
That’s it. I have created a routine I can implement these things into without much thought at all so that is just flows with my day. That is what I want a natural flow. I know I will succeed and I know I will mess up, I am human. Thank you for God’s loving grace and His patience. I just wanted to be “real” with you. Feel free to let me know how you are doing during Lent.
Have a beautiful day my LOVES!
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